i hate dressing up

again ... and again. I will never satsify him no matter how hard I try to dress up to his liking.

13th May, he has to attend another one of those damn armor anniversary dinners with a partner.

Must dress nice. Lady like. Pretty.

Qualities that I never have. And never will no matter how much I try.

I have a nice black dress. Formal enough, simple enough, and cheap enough for him (as it was paid from his pocket). I even searched for cheap enough trinkets of a necklace, earrings and bracelets to just accessorise the plain dress. To make it look nicer and more suitable for a dinner.

I tried on the whole outfit for him to ... have a quality check. He looked at me. His expression was that of disappointment and disgust. And it not only chilled me with hurt, but pierced my heart with dispair.

My search for something decent starts again.

Or maybe I should rid myself of this frustration and just tell him to find another girl worthy for him to hold his head up proudly for.

I'm sick of this ...