Have I pressed it yet?

Gosh have I NOT pressed the RESTART button YET!?!?!?!?

My life is screwed up ... have to walk away.

:(

Moving to another point in my life ...


It used to be where everything was shit ... job, love life, relationships, social life.


But then my friends ... my TRUE friends were there for me. They do not walk away from me. They talk to me, accompany me to take my mind off the sources of my stress.


Thanks girls. You are the true ones to me.


Now ... I'm taking a huge setback in the next level. But I'll be taking my future like an RPG game.
- gain EXP to LVL UP
- undergo TRAINING to gain SKILL
- TALK to more people to gain information/knowledge
- once in a while need a little POTION to help me regain the energy needed to pick myself up


Hehe ya ... 1 - 2 years more of this shit and I'll be able to LVL UP and gain the POWER to garner something higher.


Wish me the strength and determination to get through this.

FML

The feeling after plonking down the REST of your money in the bank meant for food/fuel/etc expenses for the month of April on bike parts that's supposed to upgrade your bike performance, but ends up performing FUCKING A LOT WORSE than the original parts ... FML.

2012 so far ...

It's already 2012 and a few months have passed.

I've already been happily confirmed at Teekay and loving every moment of it ... even when I'm deep in my work sorting through the documents.

Been through my usual dramas, up and downs, hopes and disappointments.

Frankly, been feeling more alone than usual. Especially with seeing my friends married, getting married, in relationships, or even just simply dating.

I wish I could say that I've been trying, but to be disappointed time and again, I just keep going back to square one.

I sometimes just feel I don't want to try anymore and just hole myself up at home to sleep away my time.

Luckily I have my friends to call me out, to make me feel not so lonely. They are still there for me.

But ... once at home ... alone in my bed ... it's so cold.

... back rash.

My back is itchy!!!

Started with only one big bump then it turned into 2, 3 and before I know it several unsightly red bumps on my back ... and ITCHY at that!!!

Please ... this is not the first time.

Please don't tell me I'm allergic to something I ate.

I had salmon, unagi and ebi roe maki just now. Plus a tuna subway sandwich top with capsicums and honey mustard.

Which one?!?!?!?

Should I consider seeing a doctor???

Hypothesis Proven

Did a little test for the past week.
My little hypothesis about guys is really quite true.

Guys only look for me when they need something.
If they can't get it, or if they do not need anything from me, I'm useless to them and thus am ignored.

But the ones who are by my side with or without favours; little mahjong sessions, a little alcohol in our systems, a good laugh over good food ... are my girls.

Thank you girls ... you're the only ones who I can count on.

Sleep

Not going where I was hoping for.

In fact I feel like I'm falling backwards again.

No motivation. Nothing to look forward to.

Just feel like sleeping my days away ... what's different from being dead? None.