World Animal Day @ Bishan Park

Remember that picture I did for ASD's World Animal Day.

Hee hee it's definitely a great feeling to see the drawing I did on posters, the big banner and even the scarves and bags that people carry around.

Thank you again Bernard for the intro to do this little job. *feels so happy*

Oh ... posting this poster up that I saw pasted on the wall on the lift on my block. Hope the owner gets back his/her dog soon. Poor thing. It's sick too.

A Doggie Halloween

Today's fun started at 5+ when we started getting ready to go out to Robertson Walk for the "Halloween to Howl About" event.

Reaching there at 6pm the party looked like it started. All sorts of dogs were roaming around in cute little costumes. Some of their owners joined in the fun and dressed up to. My two dears only had wings and a little pumpkin hung from their collars.

I even drew a picture this afternoon to "commerate" this fun day. They looked too cute to not be drawn!

Zhu & Bi's Halloween outfits <-- from my doodle blog.

Then we had coupons ... one of them were free photo taking for our pets! I HAD FOUR!! HAHAHAH. FOUR BEAUTIFUL PICTURES!! And they even provided costumes!!! HEre they are!









SWEET RIGHT?!

Tomorrow will be going to the World Animal Day event at Bishan Park!!! Heheh ... so excited. ANother doggie fun day.

But now ... DOUBLE O!!! Hubby is going mahjong session with his friends later. Kekek ... to each his own then! Wheee!

Mambo Disappointment

Okay ... about Zouk Mambo last night.

I ... might ... not be ... going back to Mambo ... as much as before.

The S-plat is like ... a large chunk (like more than half of it) in the MIDDLE of the plat is replaced by HUGE SPEAKERS that boom really loud. I can feel WINDS blowing up my jeans just standing in front of them. No more plat, except a pathetic thin black thing which only allows 2 persons at a time on it.

Zouk area (as in the main dance area), is a tiny bit smaller, so that the side staircases are wider. There's now a mini VIP room upstairs too, kinda like a mini 3rd level. But it looks REALLY small.

Don't get me started on the toilets. WHO IS THE ONE WHO DESIGNED THEM!?!?!?! Can go run yourself into a wall HEAD FIRST!!! It's ridiculous!!! Let me list what I hate :
- no more sinks in the toilets (it's now a communal huge fountain like sink OUTSIDE the toilets. I really cannot imagine people puking in that!!!)
- instead of bigger toilets, the toilets kinda shrunk
- the colours in the upstairs bigger toilet is so clashing that it looked like a blind man chose the colours, not to mention the design
- this time round's hanging deco are big huge styrofoam balls that looked like that had huge tumours and sparsely spray painted like 10 mins before they opened!
- a huge disco ball (which would have been great if there weren't like 50% more lights around and shooting into our eyes)
- the whole club seems brighter (not like happy brighter but WHITE brighter like making it seem like day time which TOTALLY DEFEATS the purpose of a club.)
- the other toilet near the entrance now has lime green sinks, clashing with the wall colours. Nice on its on but horrid on the whole.

SAVING GRACES :
- phuture is bigger (duh!)
- phuture's bar is much nicer looking now
- velvet is FREAKING BEAUTIFUL!!! But I dare not go cuz the peeps there are really MUCH older.
- the entrance looks like ice, made shivers run down my spine, but of course it's plastic
- the entrance now has such beautiful hanging lights looking like fairy lights (my fave part)

DOODLE <-- little update in my doodle bloggy. Keke.

Randomcity!

And it's only $1.20 at the market across the road from my home.

Look at all those shampoo! Sometimes I wonder whether is it better to be a dog or human. The way pets are pampered nowadays ah ... dog life better than human life.

Hee hee ... this pretty pictures of them was VERY soon gone. Less than an hour and a lot of ROUGH PLAY with each other later ... their muzzles were as wet as if someone dumped their faces with buckets of water.

ZOUK DISAPPOINTMENT!!!
I haven't been there yet but friends have told me that our Mambo Home "The S-Platform" is GONE!!!!!!

*cries cries cries cries*

And I no need to even have hopes to get space on the centre platform. That has shrunk too.

WHAT HAPPENED?!?!? Why did Zouk come to this decision!!!

In my heart I still don't believe it. On Wednesday, I shall go and SEE FOR MYSELF.

Will try to do a rough sketch of the new layout of Zouk after that. I really really really hope that they didn't change much ... cries!!!!

I have a car to drive around for the next 18 months.

I know I shouldn't be happy about it. But I couldn't help smiling as I paid for my season parking for the next 2 months ... *sniggers*

Reason why I got my mom's Mazda 3?

Dad caught for drunk driving (as mentioned in an earlier entry). Slapped with a $3600 fine and suspended for 18 months from driving. He's cursing and swearing at all police now. After 18 months he must go reapply to retake his driving license. Sigh.

*smiles*

stuff stuff stuff

While waiting for my friend to meet me, I ended up shopping and spending $30!!! GAH!!!

This black top maybe looks a little too ... maternal right? Hrmm ... maybe I can save it when the time is "ripe" I mean right. O_O;; But it looks okay with jeans only prob is that it emphsizes my tummy. But I don't care, loved that pendant part too much to care.

The bracelet is just plain cute! $7.90 I guess is okay considering that's how much I spend on average for my hp keychains. That reminds me I need to get another one. My old hp keychain broke off and got lost. T_T

Then these! ARE EMPTY LAH!

Spent another $9.70 here. Forgot to take a pic with a packet of small razor blades but then I guess better not or else I scare people.

Bottles are for when AFTER gym showers. Easier to pump out the shampoo, conditioner and shower gel using these mah.

Razors ... for shaving eyebrows one. That time the makeup artist shave for me and now growing out very ugly. Have to clean up!

YAY!! Thanks to kabluey (cinnaroll dog), LDB (melody) and my mommy (hello kitty) for helping me find the rest. I got the Batz Maru one myself. Yay!

ENVY ME!

Last week I didn't post this. But now I think I can and make ALL OF YOU ENVIOUS!!!

The food that night was ... wah ... heaven sia. My hubby loves to cook and he can learn quite fast too. But problem we have is that he don't have enough time mostly. Hrmm ... we should put aside one day a week to cook our own. Oh btw I'M the one who did the mushroom soup hor!!! Kekeke ... but hubby still the best.

This street I think ... well ... it's a horny street. Found this sign near Club Momo. Hrmm ... if I stay put in this street long enough, would I get an orgasmic experience? HAHah ... I didn't dare stay to find out.

Today ... I went to see my wedding photos. Sorry that I couldn't share. I was not allowed to bring home. Everything was chosen there. I was so surprised that most of them turned out great! Me and hubby had so much trouble choosing!!!

Oh ... our package presently is $3688 right? We just topped up another $4000. Kekekek.

Too many photos and now we have TWO ALBUMS instead of one. Also we'll be getting a beautiful brown print briefcase, one more table top frame (to put bigger photos in I think 6R or 8R I not sure), a 30 page 5R photo album (this one was REALLY nice), and we get to keep ALL of the negatives. I tell you ... negatives is WORTH it. We got like almost 200 shots in all ... freaking a lot! No wonder we were so tired that day.

I'll only get to get all of these in December. Sigh ... still such a long time.

PPG Comic Strip

This is a freaking COOL online comic strip that I found!!!

My God I wanna draw chibis like this!!!! (LEARN ESDEE LEARN!!)

Remember to BOOKMARK this link hor!! This is a GREAT comic!!!

It has so many characters from Cartoon Network!!! Gosh!! I LOVE IT LOVE IT LOVE IT!!!

ASD WAD'05

http://sddoodle.blogspot.com/ <-- a little update in my doodle blog. Good news! Thanks to Bernard for the lobang. Heehee. Did a poster picture for ASD (Action for Singapore Dogs) for their World Animal Day poster. I know that the day is over liao. But their event is only on the 30th Oct.

Details :
30th October 2005 Sunday
10am - 6pm
Bishan Park II
(along Ang Mo Kio Ave 1 opp Bll 338, in front of Acacia Restaurant; more carpark space at Blk 338)

Program Highlights
Free goodie bag for first 200 guests with pets!
Pets Adoption Drive + Educational Talks + Scruffs Dog Show + Dog Race
Anti-Dengue Rap Competition & Colouring Contest

Initially this drawing was only black lines ... simple and plain. It was fun thinking up of other designs as well. If only I could do this for a living. But in high standard and cost of living in Singapore, I don't think I'll survive.

But I feel proud lah. My work is used somewhere. I hope I can get a poster of it to keep. I asked Bernard that for payment I wanted the event goodies and a poster to keep. He said okay. I hope it's really okay.

Wednesday Nite @ Momo

For the first time in my clubbing life ... I went without my girls.

Joined my new friend at Momo. But we went f-ing early. Like 845pm we were in! Not much people there.

Went to the bar to get free drinks, ladies' night mah. Free entry free flow.

Suddenly I was standing beside a very handsome suited man, and a very beautiful lady who sounded DAMN familiar to me. Then I realized ... OMG I was standing beside Denise Keller and Wolfgang from Eye For a Guy 2!!! Sms-ed hubby and Yan, BOTH of them told me to get their pictures and signatures. Ya LIKE HOW??!?! Camera was shitty and lighting was dark. Signatures use what to sign? My blood ah? And where?!!? My back or boob??? Kekekek.

BTW Denise is really darn pretty. Have to envy her flawless looking skin even UP CLOSE. And Wolfgang ... yummy. There was a point where I was there getting a drink and only me and him were standing at the bar. I was soooo tempted to just say hi and ask him to let me sit on the chair that he was leaning on. But then it would have looked very dumb considering that there were like 5 other empty seats at that time.

Yan was telling me that ... eh ... here's her message ...

"... If you see howard let me know i'll pia down" Kekek ... pia (rush)

Too bad the cute Howard was no where to be seen. But I saw Robin Leong instead. Sad to see that he looked really tired (eye bags were dark and huge) and he looked malnourished, cheeks were quite sunken in.

Oh did I mention that there was a Super Model contest held there? Kekeke. Imagine 16 young girls (really young loh mostly under 20! One of them was even 16!!!) strutting their stuff and more in tiny bikinis infront of drinking gawking men. Sigh. I stood in the crowd just wishing I had their flat bellies and C+ boobs.

My new friend challenged me to a game of pool too, when it was not crowded lah. I utterly embarrassed myself I think, missing easy straight shots and going "woohoo" like a little girl when I do get a ball in. My friend I think confirm give way to me loh!!! Cuz I won him by one ball.

Had 3 whisky dry and 2 vodka 7up. Not a good mix. Ended up leaving at 1+am and falling asleep in the cab home. Heng I woke up in time to tell the driver where to turn in to get to my block. Reached home, changed clothes, drink water ... then I suddenly had the need to HUG the toilet bowl. BLEAH!!!! Bibi looked at me like "What's so interesting in the toilet bowl??" Hehz.

Banner change again

RAWR!!!

Yeah ... I changed the Halloween banner again!!! I was just itchy to draw some Domos today. Yes these are called Domo-kuns. Brown stuff. Er ... dun ask me what are they. Something random. I just find them cute. Kekeke.

Link for banner

Howl-aween Outing

Went to a little Halloween thingy down at Robertson Walk two days ago.

I didn't realize that it was JUST BEHIND dblO and Newsroom bar. Gosh.

The dogs had a nice 3 course meal for them. Looked better than most of my meals. While me and hubby shared a seafood platter and a $6 mango juice *wallet pain*

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1- This uncle ah ... tsk tsk ... this road is near Sim Lim there. And he's on my RIGHT SIDE loh! He very daring sia! I was damn worried that he would scratch my side mirror when he pass me. Got people actually banged my side view mirror before and I cussed and swear at them.

2- Can see what picture I was attempting to take in my rear view mirror or not???

3- Okay okay my car made the U-turn liao, NOW can see??? Very nice hor!!!

4- I LOVE THE BRIGHT COLOURS!!! Got yellow, red, green and blue. I wanna live in the BLUE one!!! This is Rocher Center in case you all dunno.

a- Okay the message on the paw is ...

A HALLOWEEN TO HOWL ABOUT
Fantastic F&B deals
3-course set dinner for
your dog at $10* with any order
placed ($16 for non-patrons)
BarCelona Wine Bar #01-3031

b- I found some of the stuff on the drinks menu interesting. Brain Damage, Sex on the Beach, Blow Job (Kuhula, Vodka, Whipped Cream : hmmm so that is what a blow job tastes like. kekek), Submarine

c- WIN LIAO LOH!!! Hamster also got body leash for people to take them out for walks!!! OMGosh~!

d- Found this spiffy new gadget at Carrefour!!! It's those price tags to display product prices. But these are digital. Meaning like EACH one is a device on its own, and some even have a promotion word blinking on it. It's not static like that leh. Anytime can take out and change!! Save paper, save ink. I was sooo tempted to steal one to figure it out. >.<

Zhu's First Barkday

Hee hee ... thank you all for the comments on my hp wedding photos entry. Very happy to read them all.

Now today is also another big day. Today is Zhu Zhu's FIRST birthday!!!

Went all the way to Greedy Pet Bakery. Couldn't get him a meat cake so settled for a cupcake, munchies and beef jerky bits.

Zhu look so happy hor. We had a lot of problems getting a decent pic cuz he kept struggling to attack the cupcake.

YAY! At last can tie a top knot for Bibi liao!

btw lookie up there ... for the month of October my banner will be this one. Did it in one afternoon ... shady work but then it's only gonna be up for a month keke. LINKY OF PICCY

Wedding Photoshoot

Okay I'm one day late ... but I was SOOOO DOGGONE TIRED that I went to bed at 10pm. Which is considered late considering that my hubby fell asleep at 9pm. I had OTHER THINGS to do.

They were VERY guai (obedient) in the studio. Not moving, looking at the cameraman when called.

But when we went outside for the outdoor shoot ... HELL BROKE LOOSE! Zhu was running all over the place. Bibi was very fascinated by her new surroundings and proceeded to eat it! Grass patches, flowers, dead leaves. AND BOTH OF THEM ... *shakes head in agony* ... slammed their faces into the sand and came up with a faceful of ... ya sand. I REALLY PRAY that the photos come out without the sand ... HAHAH.

TRANSFORMATION!!! Damn it doesn't even LOOK like me! Sigh. So sad. Well what can you expect from like maybe half a kilo of makeup, fake eyelashes and even fake double eyelids. So THIS is how I would look like. Seriously should consider plastic surgery. Cries.

A LOT OF PEOPLE are not gonna recognise me on my wedding day.

Let me tell you my hellish night when I got home. Imagine my hair ... after piles of hair spray, pins and stylying including curling, HOW HARD IT WAS!!! It was like as hard as TREE STICKS!! Sounds like tree sticks breaking when my hubby helped me take off my pins.

BTW I do consider curling my hair again for the next time my hubby has an armour party/function. I loved the look. Hee hee.

Okay. BEFORE the hair washing, I had to take off all my FAKIES and makeup. Wah liew ... I think I went through more 10 pieces of cotton wool leh!!! Usually I only need 2 pieces to remove my clubbing makeup. GAH. And it hurt when I took off my eyelashes cause they were glued to my eyelids. Then the double eyelids effect of the scotch tape ... just imagine trying to remove scotch tape when it's been on your skin for the whole day. OUCHIES!!!

But nothing could prepare me from the feeling of running my fingers through my WOOD LIKE HAIR!!! CRACK CRACK CRACK! I was sooo worried that they would just all break and fall off!

I ran my hair through the water, and carefully applied LOTS of conditioner. THANK GOD it softened up. My hair was back to normal at last.

I hope the photos turn out well. I had a tendancy of hunching my back and hubby had problem smiling hahah. End of the day we were soooo tired to smile. I hope we didn't look like we're faking it too hard. Hubby did a bit of weight lifting too. Had to carry me a few times. HAHAH I just hope his face is not like ... STRAINED when the photographer took it. I also SAT on hubby when he was lying down on the beach. Ken's idea.

Oh Ken is our photographer. VERY CUTE and young looking guy. Sorry girls I cannot intro to you all. He's married and has a 2 month old daughter liao. I thought he was like only 20-24, but found out that he's 28! 10 years of working as a photographer ... WOAH ever since he was 18!!! That's passion I tell you!!!

Oh and we spoke chinese ALL THE WAY for our phototaking. And poor hubby ... UP TO NOW still dunno what is "zhuo" (left) and what is "you" (right). HAHAH ZHUO YOU BU FEN!!!

Joann is my make up artist and hairstylist. I wonder if she's from China, cuz of her strong China accent in her chinese. She introduced a face mask to me. Said it'll help a lot to get rid of my black marks and pimples before my big day. Hope it does!!! I wanna have nice nice skin, not only for that day but everyday!! Hee hee. She's really nice too. Got a 6 year old daughter. She knows her work well sia! She did my face in such a way that I looked SLIMMER.

Overall, I enjoyed myself. It was a real experience. But I don't think I wanna go through that again. So tiring. Oh wait shit. I've to go through that ALL OVER AGAIN on my wedding day. *faints*

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Okay this is really out of topic ... but I just happened to have it in my camera so I decided to share ... kekek.

the feeling of ugliness

It took me quite a while ... to decide whether to post this or not? I cannot remember whether I talked about this before. But then again it's my RANTS. I in the mood to rant!

So here goes ...

I was talking to a friend. Telling him my insecurities. My feeling so fat and ugly. So unwanted. So ... sad.

Guess it might be the photo taking that I'll be taking that's giving me this feeling of ugliness.

Brought me a lot of unhappy memories about my past. My unhappy experiences with guys. From secondary school, through junior college and even in university. I'd walk down streets always looking at the floor. Whenever I lifted my head to look around, there would almost always be a guy staring at me like I was the ugliest thing he has seen in his life.

Once I was walking to school from Tanah Merah MRT, there was this primary school boy (i think Primary 6 lah, 12/13 yrs old) sitting by the sidewalk I think waiting for friend. Punkish like xiao ah beng with a face that I wish I could slam into the asphalt. I was staring at his orangy hair, wondering which school allowed him to have such hair!!! Most likely he was just some bastard child sired by an ang moh.

Sorry, but my self hate started from him onwards. He was staring back with a pissed face and he was muttering under his breath in chinese, "Ugly witch stop staring at me liao. Ugly witch." When I got to school I kept thinking about this, kept thinking that "Ya, I am ugly."

So I guess I'll remain so.

Soon after even when there was a guy chasing after me, I kept thinking what this guy sees in me? I very easily taken in by their sweet talk. But very soon they will act like they don't know me at all. Like they were embarrassed to let people know that they know me. Sigh.

Worst experience of all, was my first boyfriend. He chased me loh. Fell for his sweet words and his caring ways. First bf of course I very deep feelings lah. But he ... after a month ... EXACTLY A MONTH ... he broke up with me. No reason. Just stopped calling, stop looking for me loh. Found out from my 2nd bf (presently hubby), the only reason he went out with me was because of a bet which another group of guys betted with him. "To last going out with me for a month."

IS IT REALLY SUCH A HORRIBLE EXPERIENCE TO BE WITH ME?!?!?!

And I also found out that this f-ing assholes group of guys ... WERE FRIENDS OF MINE!!! Of course these guys were no longer my friends. Arses they are for doing this to me.

Before my first bf, they also tried to push another guy to me. This guy ah. Sigh ... sorry to say loh (wait I'm not sorry about it) ... IF I WAS A GUY, I think I BETTER LOOKING than him!!! Found out from another friend later who blurted out saying that I so ugly who would want.

It was so ... so ... soooo hurtful those words. Same feeling when I found out about the bet.

My friend whom I was talking to online said :

MEH says:
dun bother abt them lar..
MEH says:
they r not worth for u to get angry with
Esdee says:
sigh i know lah
Esdee says:
but then i think what they say might be true
Esdee says:
that i really am ugly that i really am fat

Then this where my inferiorty complex kicks in full force. Even though after I broke up with my first bf, I quickly had a 2nd bf. Only after 3 hours chatting on the phone, SW and I agreed to just be bf-gf, but also agreed to only be that for fun.

It was only 3 days after my break-up loh. And I was seeking to destroy myself. Luckily the guy I happened to talk to that night was SW ... my now darling hubby. But even my hubby admitted before that he was not attracted to me by my looks. Said that I was a very plain looking girl. You imagine that when he said it to me. AFTER 9 YEARS TOGETHER!!! My heart, my so called little little hope that I am a little attractive after all. SHATTERED!!!! HEART SO PAIN!

In truth when I thought carefully, even my parents never failed to point out to me about my flaws. Things like

- "Why don't you go do something about your face ah? So much pimples. So oily."
- "So fat ah. Can lose some weight or not?"
- "Do something the way you look can or not?"

Sigh. Imagine growing up like this. How to not feel ugly???

In Junior College, not much difference. I BARELY have any friends there. I think ... can count the number of friends who I talk to from JC, lesser than my 10 fingers. There was a certain group I used to hang out with. No choice actually. They were the only decent ones who won't bully me and call me names or make me cry. Yah I once cried in class before because one guy laughed sooooo loud in my face IN FRONT OF THE WHOLE CLASS, calling me stupid, just because I took out the wrong textbook for class. Sigh.

Okay that "clique" I hanged out with, just so happened to be taking the bus to Clementi to eat. On the bus just commenting say that "Girls are the most beautiful on the day they get married." At this ... the rest of my group LAUGH OUT LOUD in my face, and said, "For you it will never happen." They were referring to the beautiful part, not the married part.

Of course I never associated myself with them again.

THIS IS WHY now I'm feeling so ... sad ... so ugly ... so fat!!! Been going gym to try to cut down some last minute fats. But ... I still the same!! I still weigh the same! I still look that same. In fact, I feel more bloated than before.

I'm so nervous about Monday!!! My phototaking for my wedding leh!!! And I'm feeling so ugly, so fat ... so ... UGH!!!

If you ask about now, how am I now? I'm still feeling ugly. Can say I'm super paranoid and pessimistic. I keep thinking that whenever I hear people laughing, they are laughing at me. Whenever people look in my direction, in their minds they are thinking "What an ugly person." Sigh.

I need to get out. I need to go drinking to drown these stupid thoughts of mine.

I NEED TO FORGET THIS!! I am getting photographed on Monday! This is NO TIME to be thinking ugly! Think ugly = Am ugly ... most of my time. T_T